The friend code...

Most of you know I use this blog to pour my heart out, and lately I've had some life challenges that I would like to call "growth opportunities". Well my peeps, prepare to read as this post is a good one!


I guess this is not written anywhere, but there is for those with principles what is called a "friend code" where boundaries are established when it comes to dating friend's ex's. To someone with some sort of principles it should be unacceptable to date the recently separated wife of his very good friend. Well I guess my ex does not have those types of principals; so ladies and gentleman hide your Husbands, Hide your Wives, because these two know of no friend codes.

Let me remind you that I walked out of my engagement after a nasty fight with my ex where he told me very nasty things about how he felt about us because of me not making money. When I told him why was he still with me if he felt that way, he said - and I quote "why would I break up with you if you don't have a job and I will still HAVE to pay for everything" (I had just lost my job again) leaving me with no option but to walk out. I don't want to be with someone just because he feels trapped, if you love someone set him free if he's yours he will come back if not he was never yours. Within a few days I was apologizing and asking him to get back together - In my mind I was still blaming myself even after all the horrible things he had said. This just happened a little over 2 months with the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.

Well 2 weeks before that happened one of the married couples that we used to hang out with had split up their marriage of 17 years. My ex was really good friends with them even before I came into the picture but we took a couple of trips together and hung out often so when the separation between them happened WE were of course a shoulder to cry on. I considered her a friend so it was ok. I have to say that we kind of sided with her and we withdraw a bit from him, but at some point I realized that she was calling my fiancée way too much and kind of stopped calling me. She was asking him to have lunch together as they worked close by. At that point I stepped in and asked him to stop that as I thought it was very inappropriate. 

Well was I right... Today I received a call from her husband telling me he had run into them this morning while they (his soon to be ex-wife and my ex-fiancee) were checking out a hotel downtown. The occasion you may ask? Yesterday was her birthday, so knowing my romantic ex he wanted to make sure he wined and dined her just like he only knows. That is something that he is really good at; impress the ladies with romantic nights that cost tons of money.

Of course I left a nasty voicemail calling names in a rage, I am only human and I feel very hurt that out of thousands of single men and women out there these two had to go this low. But my pain had to be minimal next to our friend's pain, after 17 years of marriage his soon to be ex-wife (because they are still not legally divorced) was now sleeping with one of his best friends. 

I just don't understand what leads people to make such poor choices. Because this is not bad enough my ex has the nerve to call me saying that he doesn't appreciate my v-mail and name-callings and that he can date whom ever he wants because he is a "free man". Then he proceeds to threaten me to report the car that he agreed I would take (and pay for when I could) as stolen, and starts threatening me with going to my immigration hearing and other family stuff. Really dude? You get caught doing something as low as that and you are upset at me?

I guess its nothing personal as he also threatened our mutual friend too, when he ran into them he took a picture of them loading their luggage in what used to be MY car... oh the irony! and then posted it on his Facebook... Oh the power of social media! Obviously they were on the down low and they are not so proud of what they are doing. IF YOU ARE SUCH A FREE MAN AND CAN DATE WHOM EVER YOU WANT THEN GO ON WITH YOUR LIVES AND LEAVE US ALONE.

All I can say is that karma is a BITCH and sleeping with friend's soon to be ex-wives is not cool, there are plenty of people out there, so this was a really poor choice.

Would love to see comments on this post, I think the "friend code" topic is quite an interesting one.