A different weekend

This weekend was quite different to the rest of my summer, mainly because it involved a new guy. After several dates "new guy" has been very consistent and remains interested and I guess so do I. Until now all dates had been out and about, but you can only dodge the come to my place thing for so long, lol! So here it was, he was inviting me over to go ride on "the greenway" a bike path near his place, pool and home cooked dinner (he's a chef). What was I supposed to say?

We went for an awesome ride, by the way... He totally kicked my butt because the ride to and from the greenway was hilly as hell. Then went to his place, of course I had to shower which kinda had me freaked out, but he had towels, shampoo, conditioner, etc. set up for me on the second bathroom to give me my space, and did movies and dinner. During dinner we of course had wine and since my place is about an hour away the question came up, did I want to spend the night?

Let me tell you something about me, after long periods of being single I hate sleeping with someone either on my bed or sleeping at theirs! Why is it so hard and awkward for me? I am always extremely aware of me moving and waking the other person up, invading their space, etc. I know I over think it, but I just can't help it. I remember the first night at Dave's, I left at like 5:30 am with the excuse of traffic, really?

So after 7 months of single-hood I decided it was time for me to deal with this again, I like him, he likes me... Just do it! and I stayed the night. It was better than I expected, very nice, he was sweet and made me feel welcomed, but of course I slept horrible because I was afraid to wake him up. I was hot, I was cold, I wanted to go to the bathroom but tried holding it so I wouldn't wake him up... Geez! So guess what? I'm writing this from home, my excuse this time? Church! Lol! I woke up at 7:30 ish and told him I had to get going because I was supposed to meet my girlfriend at church at 9:30 am.

I guess I have to do it more often so I break the awkwardness of it all, in the mean time I will take it easy, I'm sure he will understand. BTW, dinner was delicious... He's fit, stable, handsome, and cooks amazing... Jackpot! Lol

This is all my friends!

XOXO
CM

Will it ever go away?

Today is one of those rough days where I am just overwhelmed by sadness. After infinite attempts to forget him days like today remind me that the process might have been easy and smooth for him, but that for me it's just not that simple. Today I miss him as if I just had left, I am sobbing as I write this because my heart loves him so and for months now I thought that by not writing, saying or admitting this it would go away. All it does is give me this pressure on my chest that increases with time and that just goes away every so often when I pour my heart out crying.

So today is one of those days... I just miss him so, I miss what we had, our family, our jokes, his monkey hands, the way he looked at me and the whole world disappeared, the way he kissed me, held me, the way nothing mattered as long as we were able to be together and hold each other. He was my everything, my lover, my knight, my best friends and I miss him. I sometimes wish I could at least have him as a friend, that he still cared about me, about Sophia, that I could know how he was doing, how Ty was doing. That I would get to see pics of the little man, that I could see them once more at least as friends.

I long for the day this doesn't hurt, the day I am able to remember him with no anger or sadness. I wish I could move on just how he did, quick and easy, although I sometimes wonder if what he has is even real. Anyone that loved how we did cannot just forget and cannot just move on, so I wonder if while he lays in bed with her he thinks of me, while he holds her hand he still wishes it was mine, if he ever misses me like I do.

All I can say is that I will keep working on me, I'll keep trying to heal and hoping that sooner than later I can be free again to love once more as I loved him.

CM

Fun Fun Fun!

What a fun weekend this has been, super active and just fun! It started Wednesday with an awesome date to this Italian restaurant in Atlanta "Veni Vini Dice"... Can I say amazing? The appetizers were incredible, the entree - Ossobucco! it was unbelievable. Awesome wine, because of course my date was very knowledgeable and a Creme Brulee for dessert... Delish! 

Thursday I went to movies under the stars with a friend and they were playing Grease, love doing that, next week is The Wizard of Oz! You bring a blanket, food, some wine and voila... you have a picnic! On Friday (which we had off) we  woke up, grabbed our bikes and went to Stone Mountain. It was my first time there, we rode on the bike path for a while, boy those hills kicked my butt! and then a hike all the way up to the top of the mountain. It was an AMAZING workout! Then pool for a while with Thais and Carmen =)

In the evening, my Wednesday date took me to a Braves game... My very first one, that was super fun! and we won ;) We watched the entire game, drank yard long margaritas, ate jumbo dogs and enjoyed everything a baseball game has to offer, very cool stadium by the way. After the game he dropped me off in Atlanta to meet the girls and went out for a bit to Phipps.

Yesterday morning we went for a 5 mile run.... oh the heat! I thought I was going to die... Then ate a salmon salad that my friend Thais made for us and went to the pool to work on the tan... again! In the evening, another date, lol! First date but was fun, tons in common so he's getting a second one. Tomorrow we are going to ride together, luckily we talked about speed so he's bringing his mountain bike instead of the road bike, lol!

Today it's church and then date number 3 with Braves guy... We are going zip lining, another first for moi! That's after I do my workout, gotta swim some today! and then we are going to hang out by the lake down where he lives. 

I definitely have been enjoying my time off and been keeping a very active lifestyle, I just feel happy! I'm getting in awesome shape, I'm doing things I love, I'm enjoying the city... what else can you ask for?

This is it for now, I hope you peeps are enjoying your long weekend too!

XOXO

CM

My Song!

Gravity




Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down

One of my favorites

Triathlon Training Started Today

Well, this morning I woke up at 5:45 am to go to the gym and complete my first workout of the day, success! I feel so awesome and do not miss my bed. I don't know how this 2 workouts a day is going to go but I will do my best.

What I probably would need is a trainer to take care of the bike portion when its raining (like is will probably be today) or when Sophia comes back, since I can do it early in the morning before I take her to school. I guess if not I will have to do them back to back when she gets back.

I can't wait to see my improvement in cardio and endurance, and of course the changes in my body... Can't wait to get SUPER fit! 

This is all for know ;)

CM

Triathlon Training

So I have been swimming and biking just randomly, but I start my triathlon training Tuesday the 2nd. I just planned my next 2 weeks of training and oh boy! double workouts 6 days a week. I hope I can keep this going because I am extremely excited.

So this is my lovely training for next week!

• Tuesday 
• AM Swim - 9 x 100 - 100 @ Mod Intensity w 5 sec rest 
• AM Swim - 4 x 25 @ speed intensity w/ 20 sec rest
• PM Bike - 11 x 20 sec 20 sec intervals/high gear @ speed intensity w/ 2 min active rec
• 35 min warm up / 35 min cool down
• Wednesday
• AM Swim - 9 x 100 - 100 @ Mod Intensity w 5 sec rest 
• AM Swim - 4 x 25 @ speed intensity w/ 20 sec rest
• PM Run - 55 min @ Mod intensity
• Thursday
• AM Bike - 1 hr @ Mod intensity
• PM Run - 55 min run @ Mod intensity
• Friday
• AM Bike - 1 hr @ Mod intensity
• PM Swim - 4 x 200 - 50 easy / 50 hard with  20 sec rest
• PM Swim - 8 x 25 mixed form w 10 sec rest
• Saturday
• AM Bike - 1 hr @ Mod intensity
• PM Run - 55 min run @ Mod intensity
• PM Run - 2 x 20 sec Sprint w 40 sec rest
• Sunday
• AM Swim - 9 x 100 - 100 @ Mod Intensity w 5 sec rest 
• AM Swim - 4 x 25 @ speed intensity w/ 20 sec rest
• PM Run - 55 min @ Mod intensity

Anyone who knows me and my difficulty with routines knows that this will be extremely hard for me, but I guess my excitement could be enough motivation to keep it going. The hardest part will be to be able to keep it up when Sophia gets back.

Since I have another month to do this without my monkey I hope I make the best of it and get used to my training routine. They say it takes 21 days to develop a habit, right? Wish me luck!

XOXO

CM